Cut It Out
by Keeper of the Fandom
Summary: Jack and Hiccup are called to the Pole by the Northern Lights to deal with a problem with the balance between Fall and Winter. They expected many things when they showed up to deal with this emergency, but this was not one of them.


Light.

There was light on his eyelids.

How rude. He was trying to sleep, dammit!

He gave a piteous groan and rolled over on the bed, his arm flopping over a mound of warmth that he knew to be Hiccup. A small smile spread across his face as he tightened his grip, pulling the Spirit of Autumn back against his chest, and the boy shivered but smiled as well. He turned over and opened his green eyes to observe Jack's peaceful expression as the white-haired boy tried to return to Morpheus' sweet embrace.

"You're cute when you're tired," Hiccup commented quietly, snickering when the white-haired boy's face scrunched up.

"Am not!" he drawled tiredly, still not opening his eyes, "I distinctly remember you proclaiming me a 'fearless warrior of lust and passion'."

"That was the sex talking," Hiccup told him with a smirk, trailing a warm finger over the winter spirit's bare chest, "You're a cute little snow fox."

"Then I guess you're my autumn vixen," Jack told him, pulling the boy closer still. He gave his boyfriend a peck on the forehead, eyes still closed, and asked, "Can we stay in bed for a few more hours? Morning is evil."

"It's not morning," Hiccup told him in confusion, "Those are the northern lights."

Jack's eyes shot open.

* * *

Hiccup and Jack, after rushing to put their clothes back on, had raced to the window and threw themselves out into the empty air. The wind caught them almost immediately, stopping their fall before whisking them away as fast as it could.

"How do the northern lights reach you at the _South Pole_?" Hiccup shouted to his boyfriend (Partner? Beau? Snow fox?) as they rocketed across the world, towns and cities blurring into color and sound as the wind bore them north faster and faster.

"Magic," Jack yelled dismissively, "The Northern Lights are a signal that North developed to call the Guardians to the Pole when they're needed. The magic is so strong that mortals can see them near the workshop, but it dissipates enough that they go invisible after a certain point."

They broke the sound barrier at that point, the thunderous BOOM jarring their ears, and so they ceased talking lest something weird or dangerous happen to them. Neither was sure what talking while traveling at the speed of sound would do, but neither wanted to find out.

* * *

"What's wrong?!" Jack shouted as he and Hiccup flew in through an open window. It had taken a few minutes of circling around the workshop to slow down enough, but they had managed.

However, the scene that greeted the two spirits was not what they had imagined. Instead of panicking Yetis, an upset Tooth, a serious North, and a nervous Bunny, they found all four Guardians sitting in a circle of chairs in front of the globe. There were two empty chairs, presumably for the two that had just arrived, and a table in the middle of them all set with hot cocoa and cookies.

"Jack, Hiccup," North said neutrally, waving a hand at the empty chairs, "Have a seat."

Jack and Hiccup took their seats warily, wondering exactly what this was all about. Jack didn't bother with the refreshments, but Hiccup pulled a mug of cocoa towards himself and blew on it while eyeing the others nervously.

"What's this all about?" Jack asked, eyes narrowed in confusion and suspicion. North was inscrutable, Bunny looked bored, and Sandy was as cheerful as ever, but Tooth looked quite nervous. Her wings twitched every so often, as if she wanted to flee as fast as possible, and she stared down at her hands as if they were the most interesting things in the world.

"Well?" Jack asserted, and neither he nor Hiccup missed how Tooth glanced up at him, gave a little squeak, and averted her gaze once more.

"Well Jack, Hiccup," North started, licking his lips and hesitating, which was NOT like him at all, "It seems that there is a problem with the cycle of winter and autumn."

"What?!" Hiccup burst out in shock, now quite alarmed, "How is that possible? I haven't noticed anything. Jack?"

Jack, concerned as well but still suspicious, slowly shook his head. "No, I haven't noticed anything either," he said, but in his head he was thinking things over furiously. If it was someone messing with the balance of nature, the Guardians wouldn't be sitting here to discuss it calmly. They'd be planning a course of action.

"Yes, well, we thought you wouldn't," North admitted, glancing at Bunny for help, but the Pooka merely rolled his eyes and slumped down in his chair. Giving a little huff, North looked back at Jack and said, "We know what the problem is. It's just a matter of...dealing with it."

Tooth squeaked again, and Bunnymund gave an amused snort. North glared at the warrior, but he either didn't notice or didn't care. Jack and Hiccup glanced at each other, even more wary than before, before looking back at the Guardians seated across from them.

' _Oh'_ Jack thought, noticing for the first time, because they actually WERE seated across from them. It was subtle, but the four Guardians were arranged in a group that was directly opposed to he and Hiccup.

This made him mad.

"Alright," Jack said suddenly, done with all the secrecy, "So what's the problem? Why are you all acting as if the Man in the Moon chose Pitch as a Guardian?"

North paused.

He didn't start speaking again. He just sat there, staring at Jack, and it took both he and Hiccup more than a few seconds to work out that the Russian was _embarrassed._ Thrown, the entire group could only sit there in stunned silence for various reasons.

And then, Bunny got fed up with the lack of boldness exhibited by the group and surged forward suddenly.

"For Easter's sake, mate, grow a pair!" he snapped in North's direction, then turned to face Jack and Hiccup to tell them bluntly, "Autumn an' winter are jumpin' around because of yer incessant buggerin'!"

Hiccup spewed hot cocoa everywhere as Jack fell out of his seat.


End file.
